self talk

Knife in hand, I'm mindful of the cool breeze on my neck coming in the kitchen window behind me, Slicing onion paper thin as tears drip down the skin of my cheek, Cucumber cool and fresh reminds me that the new day lays before me ready to be consumed.  I'm raw and awake.  The sun hangs lazy on the horizon painting the sky pink as it climbs slowly out of bed to greet us.  I feel the sway of my hips as I walk, the breeze through the fine hairs on my cheeks, the solid ground beneath my feet.  I feel the beat of my forceful, tender heart as I breathe deeply the serenity of my soul.  Moment to moment I'm reminded of lessons of my past that I must actively apply or be forced to learn again.  Continuously amazed how environment affects choices, attitude and mood.  How something as simple as a smell can provoke memories and tickle fantasy.  Knowing that my truth lives in my soul and doing my best to live it outloud.  Renewing my vows to love me for me, to be generous and kind and forgiving, to be true and indulge in the things that make me happy and complete. 

contemplations...

so much has been whirling in my head- all of the things he said- all the things i wanted to hear and didn't.  haunted by the past and knowing it needs to be conquered to move into my future.

started this one in February and never came back to it... totally forgot about it- whoops :(