Jammed frequency

Music bumps and speakers tweet the sounds my body can pump to- change on the horizon and hope in the atmosphere leaves dreams in consciousness unspoken and imagined silence gives birth to new dreads- forget the un-dead zombies that haunt-these fears are much more gruesome- shivers pimple flesh and pucker spirit- do u know who I am- do u care- for what it's worth, I'm a figment of a fraction of sense in your head that speaks softly and is often ignored- fragile fidgetting and elegant energies make for an odd combination- hurried harry rushes passed- where does he think the sidewalk leads and what is he rushing for- searching for more- contemplating conflictions in the chilled air- hanging from bare trees are thoughts like dead leaves- paper thin and delicate, decaying and life giving- this is the legacy left by a dancer that strived for more... That tried to define definitions and ambitions but drifted and became lost inside the frustrations~
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Rhythm and blues

Trying times like tying shoes-muster your ability, practice at every chance you get and ye shall overcome. Greasy breakfast missed, left with lost keys, do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around cuz that's what its all about. "I have one question" says the child at the back, 'what is IT?" The answer is for you to decide. The world is mysterious and difficult and there are more questions than answers. What turns your gears and makes you smile- what do you wake up for? Better yet-what do you live for? Find these answers and the questions stop being asked so loudly. Peace floats in across the skyline like its being painted with the tree tops in the breeze- an easiness settles down around you and words are no longer necessary. Heartbeats calm and mellow out bringing deep breaths with it- take a moment and feel it fill your lungs- feel the life force, feel the strength, feel your place in the world and know that you belong and that you are loved.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

dinosaurs eat apples...

Sirens scream announcing the arrival of trouble.  i hear the monsters giant steps rumble in the background, Godzilla cometh again- get your helmet and consider yourselves warned.  this is the end of the light, the coming of night, the beat kicks in and the dinosaur roars.  tick tick tick-yaum- crunch.  apples are delicious but when the robot can't find his teeth then it leaves to look for something else to eat.  stay away from the peanut butter mother bear warns- it might just rust your gears.  yaum... rock the bass and rock the chomp, this track is full of depth and of mummies wrapped in cloth.  i hear things that lurk and see them in my mind.  it's a monster mash of imagination and rhythm.  it's so potent a stench hangs in the air leaving you wondering if you remembered to wash your hair... could it be?  no, not a chance.  but it really sounds like that.  bubbles in the champagne as the zombies make a toast.  mummy is upset that they get all the attention but then here come the locals- does anyone speak this language?  build a fire and let your toes warm like the cider in my mug.  does anyone have a hug... i'm nervous about this life and could use a friend.  Yaum... crunch.  sidestep, kick and move forward... did she just say my name- jy is here and not going anywhere... this is all just so damn silly.  never thought i'd be here but Claude shows the way and the flashlight shines bright in this eternal darkness behind the speakers. the floor is wide and empty and the god beckons souls to worship.  stand up- step forward- feel the power of the word and let your body respond.  twist and turn and raise your hands in praise.  let the love flow in and then turn to the person next to you and let the love go- smile and dance let the trance take hold and overwhelm.  be brothers in the moment and world peace has a chance.  just dance!  this is the lovely truth behind the mysteries of the world.  we hold the power but we are afraid to wield it- we have the knowledge but act as tho we have forgotten it.  we have the heart but act as tho we do not feel, we know that this is real and yet here we sit pretending that the plastic brings happy and that the neighbor across the street from you ins't as together as they look.  don't diminish and degrade, celebrate and parade.  this life is precious and it's all we know we've got so lets put the hurt away and go out and play- act like kids on the playground and find your inner kind.  share your gum balls and coach your friends in the art of blowing giant bubbles.  this is what will pull us thru, me and you.  her and him... it's all too much to imagine being lost and without.  dance dummy dance.  no one is watching and nobody cares- all we want is for you to add to our energy source that we feed from.  the more that goes in, the more that comes out.  i miss this life and this scene and i miss the tribal trance that leaves you without thought and with nothing but a heart radiating out into the world shouting of one-ness, of whole-ness, of great- ness and LOVE!  this is what the world needs now- the skin of the drum is tight and it matches the beat of my heart... the synth lines have me tripped up on my fingertips wishing i could do more than just hit the floor and do what i do.  we can always do more- so very much more- inspiration hides in deep pockets stretched wide and at the very bottom with the chap stick and gum wrappers you may just find a nugget of divine, a tidbit of taste so potent you are able to run with it, a tiny treasure that only becomes revealed when you are truly ready to accept it.  it hangs heavy even before you are able to find it- the awareness has you, you must succumb- it will grow and suck you inside to the deep divide and there you will be hunched over your knees hoping for the best and trembling like the rest that came before you.  this is the path, there is no map, you must feel your way.  I have faith, in you, in me, in all that is meant to be, just be present and allow it to happen.  don't question and don't fight- just look toward the light while dancing in the dark behind your speaker.

listening to Claude VonStroke

tweedle beetle puddle battle

driving rain wets the earth leaving mud saturated like the ocean floor- this sub we ride is dark and full of a cacophony of voices and languages that leave you feeling humbled and enabled, encouraged and motivated. new beginnings take courage and the scenery here is somewhat overwhelming. in a word: average- sounds like much is left out and much is still desired but potential is present in us all so average is a great start- could be having a tantrum and be throwing things in public but where would that get me- (9/29 6:46am)

more rain drips from clouds and the pond is full- puddles are expanding and readying themselves for the advance of rubber booted feet. they are attempting to ward off all attacks by staying as still as the falling rain will allow- it is futile... the monsters will devour. they are planning their route as we speak- which is biggest- which will splash best- which is deepest- which is still growing- this is no ordinary game to these two. They are professional puddle jumpers! they are armed with glossy new rubberized foot gear and they are ready for action! this attack will last until they collapse with exhaustion. and then it's time for cocoa! the best part of cold weather... well that and a hot toddy ;) or maybe a hot tub... the comforts of the cooler seasons are limitless really. it's all what we want to focus on...nothing beats a fire on a cool autumn evening- nothing beats the crunching of leaves underfoot on an afternoon hike- nothing beats the sounds of the tropics when you're riding your board thru the snowy trails- nothing beats a cold beer in a hot shower after a day on the slopes- nothing beats cuddling on the couch in front of a fire during a snow storm- nothing beats going out in a blizzard to get milk (or wine) when your truck can barrel through and everyone else is stuck- nothing beats getting all bundled up and building a snowman after the snow falls then starting a snowball fight with the munchkins that live upstairs. dream your dreams and then live them in color and right out loud to the best of your ability. we only get one life to live and i'm not gonna let it fade to grey...

already gone

I said i needed change and here i sit doing the same ol shit- i'm already gone screams from the speakers and i feel the meaning is the theme of my lives- current and past but not my future- i took the bull by the horns and now i'm wondering what will be... fear is the death of love- fear is the lack of love- fear will not rule me and be my governing god- the force by which my choices are made and carried out. so i guess this is official cougar training but feeling more like a mouse... perhaps like a spider in a web. I will sit and watch and wait... plenty of fish in the sea they say and here i mix my metaphors... poetic soul and justified in longing- it is what it is ... just hope that it brings sun to my gloomy tummy grumbling days. High hopes like the ant and the rubber tree plant- a vision from days gone by and from a thing that makes me smile. smiles light the world and make a brighter place. my fingers are crossed that for a long time to come i'll have inspiration to keep on smiling.

Rainy morning

Rainy morning, gray and humid, the bus smells of all the varied kinds of people it carries to their destinations- spices from exotic lands and perfumes from the mall- there is even one guy hinting of skunk- the pleasantries of mass transit mystify me- yesterdays remind us of tomorrows & that we need to be kinder gentler people & love one another-all too quickly the tomorrows become yesterdays- dawn becomes dusk and the day wraps into a neat little bow if you're lucky- we create our circumstance and reality by choosing our reactions to stimulus- choose carefully- wonder if any research is being done on that- instead of medicating let's talk about learning how to cope- learning about hoping for sun while appreciating the rain- especially when the sky stays blue to show you a glimpse of the mystery nature is capable of- learning to let things happen and trust- we live in a society based on fear and where there is fear there is a lack of love- love conquers all- so throw caution to the wind and accept your neighbor for who they are and how they might enrich your experience- life is short and today is waiting to become tomorrow...
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Vietnam Wall

Prelude:

I went to DC with my parents when i was young- not quite 10 i don't think. My dad is a Vietnam vet and had lost his best friend Joe in the war. we went to the wall and it's the first (and only) time i saw my dad weep. He couldn't find Joe's name on the wall. I have always wanted to go back and do a name rubbing for my dad. I was invited to attend a business meeting in DC and when i learned that i would be flying out on September 17th, 2009 i started to research Joe. i found his information and discovered that the wall is organized by date of death. Joe died September 17, 1969. after more than 20 years of wanting to get back to the wall to find Joe's name for my dad destiny saw to it that i was there on the 40th anniversary of his death. I am having the rubbing framed and surprising my dad with it.

Part 1: early morning in the cab

I saw the sunrise from the sky with the city lights laid out beneath me- the juxtaposition of nature and invention left me feeling awed. as i head to the city's heart to make my personal peace with a history that was history before my birth i see raindrops on the windshield and am reminded of tears cried for heroes all over the world who give their lives for unexplained, mysterious reasons- we poetically call Liberties.

Part 2: pilgrimage on train and thru the Mall

I attempted to check into the hotel but was VIP so my room wasn't ready. they stowed my bags, bought me a coffee and directed me to the Metro station. I left at roughly 9am. I caught the train about 9:30 and the poster just inside the doors said "this is a GREAT MOMENT". I got teary eyed at that and had trouble maintaining composure. Got off train at Metro Center and was confused about which train and which direction. i took 15-20 minutes to figure it out and was on my way. I realized that i had been right all along. I got off the metro at the Smithsonian stop and found a map of the mall. I then got very emotional. I walked to the Washington Monument- WWII Memorial- Reflection Pond- Lincoln Memorial- arrived at the Vietnam Memorial at 10:50. I kneeled in front of panel 18W and found line 101. the last name on the right was the one i had been seeking for 20 years- I held a page to the wall and began to do my rubbing. a group of spanish women stopped to watch- the breeze kicked up blowing the corner of my page and one stepped forward to hold it down for me, I thanked her and in that moment we were connected. I lifted my pencil from the page and it began to rain lightly. what a magic moment- a humbling reminder of true reasons to complain- a 21 year old man lost his life to protect a country for a future that he wouldn't be a part of. I feel so blessed to be here and to have this story, to keep Joe's memory alive and to share.