Red Knight

sleepy morning- clean cool breeze tickles skin.  feeling like Sarah Mac as my Red Knight drives by.  Building a mystery about who he is and what he likes- hmmmm.... like ships in the night- he keeps passing me by.  what fate awaits- what story will unfold?  will i learn what his hand feels like to hold?  soft & tender or rough & strong?  how long will this mystery go on....

Untitled

Intoxicated. 

The taste lingers on tongue, the smell sticks to bare sweaty skin.  The last kiss hangs heavy in recent memory. 

Devoured. 

The greeting so familiar, the dance so choreographed.  The memory of the first kiss stirs passions.

Ecstasy. 

The pure pleasure from fingertips, the heat from primal want.  The forbidden affair that consumes. 

Intimidated.

The intense stares from eyes so blue, the lust that pulsates.  The quickened pulse makes breathless.

playlist

Take what you want from me
it means nothing now
i'm wearing you out
you're wearing me down
I'm not falling in love
I got down upon my knees~  I got down
sex trigger finger, gettin picked by the government thorn
i will go on until the end
surround me
it's easy
to fall apart completely
I feel you creeping up again
I have to fake it
I'm not in love
but the sex is good.
Nothing could come between us
I can't get away
addicted to the game
i have to do the right thing
and give ya back~ cuz i'm done stealing
I know we can make our dreams come true
something is said
it sits in my head
i know the way to silently make you smile
i'll wait for you always
there's something i can't confess
tell me what you want from here
give all my secrets away
this time i'll have the perfect lie
it's not a new life
it's the same old one
if you know how to change it
please tell me now.
there's so many wars we fought
there's so many things we're not
but with what we have
i promise you that
time heals the wounds we couldn't close
everyone says it's wrong
erase everything that i felt
...then you kissed me...
I will be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard i'll take your breath away
my body aches
to breathe your breath.
Close your eyes.
I'm in the next act
waiting in the wings
you're all i need
it's like we just can't help ourselves
cuz we don't know how to back down
It's everything you wanted
it's everything you don't
sometimes we're holding angels and never even know
I'm trying not to think about you
can't you just let me be?
so long, my luckless romance.


((this was written while listening to my heartbreak playlist on Grooveshark.  I'll add a song list soon.  ))

little people

little people- little thoughts- little waves and little pots.  hoping the madness in my mind will silence itself today without clouding my sunny skies to gray- sweet smells and sweet tales of longing days to come- memories of beautiful passed me by to settle down in the bottom of a rye and coke. sitting calmly among the oaks i realize how nature is anything but still here- the squirrels bark and chase each other- the acorns crack and pop as they fall from their tree top roosts and the leaf rain is like crumpled paper falling through the sky.  like wishing on a star i'm seeing the sky through the canopy of leaves and wishing on the blue above- wishing for the make-believe world i fantasize about to become my reality.  sometimes i'm so close- with our thoughts we make the world- and then my thoughts go haywire and i'm feeding a raging fire- haven't we been here before- on this train rambling through the country side blowing smoke and making noise while barreling down the tracks...

unknown depths

shadows of unknown answers to unnecessary questions nibble at my mind creating disturbances that ripple through my being.  fighting to be still but in that fight i create more waves of doubt.  knowing the trick~ just simply breathe and let it be, but years of conditioning, of being taught to move, of creating chaos in my own wake makes this a difficult challenge.  there is a chasm of difference between knowing and doing.  Trying is a form of Doing but the shift in perspective between the two is almost immeasurable.  if you think you're Trying you allow room for failure- when you know that in that attempt you are Doing- you create the circumstances for success.  This is my vow for today:  To Do~ to Be~ to find the stillness that carries inner calm and to pour my love into my soul, fill my heart and let it overflow out into the world with the knowledge that as my cup pours over i'll have it returned ~ soaking me in quenching emotion. 

self talk

Knife in hand, I'm mindful of the cool breeze on my neck coming in the kitchen window behind me, Slicing onion paper thin as tears drip down the skin of my cheek, Cucumber cool and fresh reminds me that the new day lays before me ready to be consumed.  I'm raw and awake.  The sun hangs lazy on the horizon painting the sky pink as it climbs slowly out of bed to greet us.  I feel the sway of my hips as I walk, the breeze through the fine hairs on my cheeks, the solid ground beneath my feet.  I feel the beat of my forceful, tender heart as I breathe deeply the serenity of my soul.  Moment to moment I'm reminded of lessons of my past that I must actively apply or be forced to learn again.  Continuously amazed how environment affects choices, attitude and mood.  How something as simple as a smell can provoke memories and tickle fantasy.  Knowing that my truth lives in my soul and doing my best to live it outloud.  Renewing my vows to love me for me, to be generous and kind and forgiving, to be true and indulge in the things that make me happy and complete. 

contemplations...

so much has been whirling in my head- all of the things he said- all the things i wanted to hear and didn't.  haunted by the past and knowing it needs to be conquered to move into my future.

started this one in February and never came back to it... totally forgot about it- whoops :(